Turtledove
by Masa Mouselike
Summary: My first fanfic yay! SFW, and everything! Also it's Coilette and not Bender, sorry. Alternate universe where she stayed with Calculon just because. Highly recommended that you watch I, Roommate, Hell is Other Robots, Bend Her, Insane in the Mainframe, Ghost in the Machines, and Calculon 2.0. This takes place after Bend Her and before The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings. Enjoy!


The wind was howling. Clouds filled the sky, heavy with rain. Rain had fallen earlier, soaking the streets. Little to no one was outside, except for a few humans and a red robot. The red automaton grumbled to himself as he stepped through puddles. Sometimes he really despised the surface; water was one of his least favorite things, and here it fell from the sky at any time. He stepped up to the crosswalk to wait for the light to change. The young couple waiting as well backed away, fear lighting their eyes.

"Is that the _Robot_ Devil? Do you think it'll hurt us?"

"Shush, it can probably hear you..."

Beelzebot had heard it all before. Such prejudiced humans. He ignored them and pretended not to be offended. The light turned red and the WALK sign lit up. Everyone crossed, the couple noticeably walking faster forward.

The Robot Devil silently walked towards the robot hospital he had never bothered to learn the name of. He said nothing as he remembered why he was here; some robot had screwed up and got themselves killed. Now they're a ghost, and he was the only robot who could help, however much he hated helping. Beelzebot sighed. Why did he have to be the ghost whisperer?

He leaned against a NO LOITERING sign and relished the irony. R.D. pulled out his own brochure and looked at it, critiquing it and pondering over what he should change. Suddenly, he heard a familiar wooshing sound and stiffened. He stood up straight and looked around to see where the ghost was. Beelzebot could hear a choked sobbing and he hesitated. Turning fully around, the ghost came into view. She was a silver robot ghost with brown hair and she was wearing a hospital gown. She was covering her face with long fingers and she cried harshly. The Robot Devil was taken aback. She wasn't supposed to know she was dead yet, was she? And she seemed pretty upset...

"Uh... Miss? Lady? ...just... Stop-stop crying!"

She quieted down and brought her hands down from her face, still sniffling. Something about her was very familiar.

"What is your name?"

"It's C-Coilette..."

NOW he was really confused. He didn't know anyone by that name. He only knew that a robot died, but he had no idea THIS was supposed to be that robot.

"Well, that doesn't give me a lot to go on. Whatever. Anyway, in case you didn't know, you're dead! Now if you'll c-"

"I KNOW I'M DEAD, BEELZEY!"

He froze. No one had called him that before. How did she even know who he was if he'd never met her? Before he could respond, Coilette burst into tears again and shot off, her ghostly tail trailing behind. Dumbfounded, the Robot Devil just stared blankly at where she had gone. At that moment, the clouds broke and rain poured down in fat drops and Beelzebot was drenched in no time.

R.D. decided to wait a couple days before searching for her again. He thought it might be a good idea to ask around and see what exactly was going on here. Perhaps Calculon would be a good robot to ask. Unfortunately, no matter where he went, he couldn't find the actor. He asked a few robots where he could be, but they just changed the subject and spoke in lower tones. What in Robot Hell was going on?

"So, you don't know a Coilette?"

"Nope. Sorry, never heard of 'er."

Beelzebot sighed. He turned from the Donbot to Joey Mousepad and Clamps.

"Have you two...?"

"No idea."

"I'll give her the clamps if I see her, eh? Am I right?"

"Clamps, not the time."

Clamps was silent at the Donbot's comment. R.D. groaned. No luck! He had already ruled out so many robots; Roberto? No, he's crazy, he wouldn't know. Robot Santa? Oh God no. Preacherbot? No WAY. He left the robot mafia and headed for the only place he could think of: Planet Express' headquarters. He despised the place but maybe someone there would have an idea?

The Robot Devil waited impatiently for someone to answer the door. After a while, the door opened and Fry was there. The Robot Devil and Fy both groaned at the same time.

"Look, I'm not happy to see you either, Fry. But I have some..."

He stopped. Fry's appearance was a lot different than he remembered. His eyes were red and puffy, seemingly from crying. Fry self consciously wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"What is it, B-Beelzebot?"

"I... Uh... I'm looking for information on a robot called Coilette?" He was not prepared for Fry's reaction. Fry covered his face and started crying, tears falling to the floor. R.D. couldn't make out the words spilling out of Fry's mouth. Okay. Whatever had happened, it didn't just affect robots. Fry breathed in shakily after a minute.

"Sorry... What... Do you want to know?"

"What happened to her?"

Fry paused. He gestured for the Robot Devil to follow and he walked inside. R.D. pushed down a feeling of dread and followed.

Fry sat down at the conference table in the middle of the room. He grabbed the newspaper off it and flipped through it. Beelzebot awkwardly sat down at one of the chairs. Not nearly as comfortable as his throne. Fry stopped at a page and showed the paper to R.D. A minor story's headline read: COILETTE, FAMOUS ATHLETE, DIES TRAGICALLY, followed by CALCULON REFUSES TO RELEASE CAUSE OF DEATH. The automaton didn't know what to say. After a moment, Fry spoke quietly.

"You don't know who Coilette was?"

"Uh... No? Never heard of her."

"Do you live under a rock...?"

"I live underground Fry. We don't get great reception down there and we get news late."

"...Coilette used to be Bender."

"What in Robot Hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"To win five gold medals, Bender participated in the robot bending part of the Olympics. Then he got a sex change to keep them."

The Robot Devil was silent as he processed this. So many questions had sprung to mind. While that does seem like something Bender would do, why didn't he change back? What did Calculon have to do with this? None of this explained how Coilette died.

"Fry, do you know where I can find Calculon?"

"I don't know, he's probably grieving? Dunno where you'd find him."

R.D. sighed. He supposed he should do some research.

"Thanks for the info, Fry."

Fry didn't respond as the Robot Devil left.

He sighed inwardly as he walked out of Planet Express. Sometimes his job really sucked. Rain was still drizzling down, and R.D. cringed as he was drenched. Then there was a familiar noise. It sounded like Coilette's crying. He carefully stepped away from the building and looked around the side. He could now see her. Coilette was floating there, tears sparkling on her face. She was staring solemnly at the building.

"Do you have regrets, Beelzey?"

The remark took him by surprise. He thought she hadn't noticed him.

"Um... Sometimes."

"Mhm. I do too."

Then there was silence. After a few minutes, she spoke again.

"I wish... I... Wish things had turned out differently."

"Like... What?"

"I shouldn't have died."

Beelzebot was suddenly bombarded with thoughts. She didn't want to die? It wasn't suicide? How did she die then? He felt sick. She wasn't supposed to be a ghost! The Robot Devil geared up to ask her the cause of death.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"But-"

"I SAID NO. Can't a girl go anywhere without being forced to do something?!"

She turned and looked at him.

"Calculon is at his house. Just leave me alone."

She floated softly away, leaving the R.D. bewildered and uneasy.

Beelzebot rung the doorbell at Calculon's house. He silently hoped the address he was given by Hedonismbot was correct. He pushed down a feeling of anxiety. He was the Robot Devil, darn it! He shouldn't have to deal with these petty feelings of sadness and worry! He should be all powerful! A few minutes passed with no response. The R.D. rang the doorbell for the 3rd time. Maybe this wasn't the right place? Oh, Hedonismbot's getting punished for this! Then the door opened a little. The open space was only a slit, but the Robot Devil was thankful for the answer.

"Who's... There?"

The voice sounded a lot like Calculon's, but it was rough and lower than he remembered.

"It's the Robot Devil...?"

They didn't answer, but opened the door all the way. Calculon stood at the door, but he acted and looked odd. His eyes were open only slightly, and they didn't focus on Beelzebot. He also stood with a slouch, like it was an effort just to be there. He didn't even greet him with his great acting talent. The Robot Devil was speechless at the sight. Such an amazing actor and robot, proud of his power and talent, reduced to this. It was frightening.

"C-Calculon, are you okay?"

"...I've been better. What... Brings you here?"

"I wanted... To ask you a few questions."

"About...?"

Beelzebot hesitated. He didn't want to hurt Calculon any more, but he needed the information.

"Calculon... I wanted to ask you about... Coilette."

Calculon just stared back, finally focusing on R.D. Maybe this was a good sign!

"What... D-do you want to know?"

"I need to know her cause of death... I'm not sure if she's supposed to be a ghost. And how did you know her?"

He waited for a response. Calculon then spoke, his voice shaking.

"You want to take her to Robot Hell?"

"Possibly?"

"I won't let you do that. She died in a labor of love and I want you to leave her alone. You will not harm her."

"I wasn't going-"

"Don't ask about her anymore. Leave us alone, R.D. Find a bad robot to torture."

He slammed the door shut on the shocked robot. For the umpteenth time those few days, the Robot Devil was left astonished and confused. What had Calculon meant by 'labor of love'? Why was he so upset over Coilette's death? WHY IN ROBOT HELL DID BEELZEBOT HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO DEAL WITH ALL THIS CRAP?! He had no idea where to go from there. Anywhere he went lead to a dead end. Why was being the devil so complicated?!

The scarlet automaton was left with only one option: find Coilette's disembodied software and ask her what happened. R.D. walked sullenly down the street and bit back sharp retorts as people gossiped near him. The skies were dark with clouds again, continuing the chain of rainy days. Beelzebot pondered over where Coilette would be. He reluctantly headed towards Planet Express again, hoping she would be there. There was only a slim chance, but it was the only lead he had.

He wandered around the building for a few minutes, looking for Coilette but to no avail. He hoped she wasn't inside, because there was no way he was going back in there. Maybe he could call her?

"C-Coilette? Are you here? Or anywhere? ... It's Beelzebot... Hello?"

"Did you talk to Calculon?"

The Robot Devil stopped in his tracks.

"Uh... Sort of? Where are you?"

Coilette suddenly appeared, drifting through the wall of the Planet Express building.

"What do you mean, sort of?"

"He wouldn't talk to me. He said you died in a 'labor of love' or something, and then he accused me of planning to drag you down to Robot Hell."

"Well, are you?"

"Uh... Now I'm not so sure."

Coilette floated down towards him.

"Let's go to Robot Hell. I can explain there if you really want."

Beelzebot was startled. She was actually going to tell him how she died? And she was willing to go to Robot Hell?! A shocking development.

"Lead the way, Beelzey."

The Robot Devil nodded and led her to his home.

 _Darkness was all she could see. Blackness throbbed at the edge of her vision. She was losing feeling. The sounds around her were faint. Coilette was dying. And she thought it was going to be the best day of her life._

 _She was sitting at the edge of a hospital bed in a hospital specially made for robots when it happened. The weakness and pain started. Wasn't she early? When was she due again? These thoughts appeared for a split second before pulsing pain drove them from her mind. She tried not to worry as she gritted her teeth, but it was hard when Calculon was panicking and calling nurses. What a thoughtful husband he was. That was the day she was going to be a mother. The day that would begin the rest of her life. But it was all cut short._

 _The robot nurses and doctors came as quickly as they could and pressed her down to the bed. She could faintly remember them telling her to be calm. How was she supposed to do that when she felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside? Like a million rats were trying to get out of her all at once. These thoughts never made it out of her mouth; Coilette was trying to focus on breathing and words got in the way of that. This was worse than the time she made beer with Fry and Leela. Thinking of them gave her a pang of sadness in her heart. She wished they were here. But they didn't know. No one did._

 _When they first found out Coilette was pregnant, Calculon was ecstatic and was eager to tell the masses. Coilette was the exact opposite; she didn't really want anyone to know she was laden down with a kid. How embarrassing! Sure, they'd congratulate her and everything, but then news would spread. She didn't want to be stalked ever in her life. So, after a while of persuasion and talking it out, Calculon hesitantly agreed to keep it a complete secret, even from their closest friends. Surprisingly, no one asked about the baby bump if there was one, and word never got out. During all of this, Coilette still worked at Planet Express during the day with her coworkers. She had moved out of her shared apartment, which bothered Fry at first, but he understood later. Later on, Coilette wondered to herself just how long she would be pregnant. She did some research, and the best result was about a week. This proved to be wrong as Coilette went into labor 4 days after conceiving. How do robot pregnancies even work?!_

 _Coilette groaned out loud as another wave of pain passed. This was the worst pain she had ever experienced. She tried not to be dramatic, because she knew she was freaking out Calculon. He was looking at her with terror on his face. She momentarily felt bad for him; he couldn't help her at all. But this was only for a moment as the suffocating pain returned. A doctor asked if she wanted the pain killers, and she couldn't remember her response, but it must have been close enough to a yes for him to stick a needle in her. The painkillers were strong stuff; she was losing feeling in a lot of places. A few minutes passed with no progress. She was starting to feel desperate. Why her?! Maybe she should have left Calculon like Leela suggested. But as she looked over at his worried face, she knew she couldn't do that to him._

 _Some time passed and Coilette could barely see. The painkillers weren't working like they should, and the pain was blocking out almost everything else. Then, she heard them talking._

 _"What's going to happen to her?!"_

 _"Sir, we're doing all that we can."_

 _"Why is there so much oil?"_

 _"Just try to relax sir."_

 _"R-relax?! My wife is in agony!"_

 _"We're trying our best to save her."_

 _"What... What do you mean?"_

 _"We'll probably be able to save the child, but..."_

 _And there it was. Like a punch to the stomach. They were already giving up on her. And she hadn't even made it through delivery yet._

 _"You have to save her! I can't live without her."_

 _"Good girl. You did it!"_

 _"Oil level very low. Heartbeat slowing. We're losing her."_

 _"...Coilette, are you okay?! Coilette!"_

 _Her mouth refused to move. All her strength had gone. Her eyes were sliding shut and her visor prepared to fall down. Darkness was everywhere. Her head was spinning and she felt sick. But it was all going away, and anything she was feeling was fading._

 _"Coilette?! COILETTE!"_

 _Was that her husband? She didn't know anymore._

 _"Coilette... We were meant to be... You can't leave me. I love you so." Coilette felt Calculon take her hand in his. His grip was weak and his hand shook. She opened her eyes a little more and saw her extraordinary husband for the last time. Tears dripped from his eyes. Coilette closed her eyes then, too weak to open them. She let the darkness carry her and she let go._

 _"Goodnight... Turtledove."_

And that was it. Her explanation over, Coilette wiped tears from her face. The Robot Devil didn't say anything for a long time. He was worried he would say the wrong thing. Or maybe he'd be sick, he wasn't sure. Either way, he could barely believe who he was talking to. The smoking, drinking, gambling thief once known as Bender was now a female robot's disembodied software. It puzzled him just thinking about it. Finally Beelzebot spoke.

"I'm... Really sorry."

He sniffled afterwards but pretended he hadn't. Coilette didn't respond and instead just stared upwards. The Robot Devil took a cautious sip from his cup of fire and just watched her. After a few minutes she spoke.

"I wish I could speak to Calculon. I want to tell him I'm okay. There's so many things I want to say..."

"Maybe there is a way. You could go in a machine and talk to him that way."

"Ghosts can do that?"

"Uh, yeah. I just suggest that you don't choose a sentient-"

Before he could finish, Coilette went in his body.

"Coilette! Occupado! Choose a different electronic!"

"You were the closest one! Now shush and let me have control."

The softwares fought over the R.D.'s body. In the end, Coilette still had strength and she socked Beelzebot in the head. His head spun as Coilette took control over the body.

"Time to go talk to Calculon!"

"Urghh..."

Now the Robot Devil got even more stares and whispers as Coilette clumsily maneuvered his body down the sidewalk.

"Can you just let me get us there?!"

"Nope. I need to learn how to control you, Beelzey."

R.D. sighed. What a week this was turning out to be. And he thought it would be spent relaxing to the screams of robots being punished.

They shakily walked to Calculon's house as the Robot Devil gave directions. Coilette walked up eagerly and rang the doorbell.

"Wait! He might not talk to you because you're in my body and Calculon is kind of upset at me."

"Well duh, I'll just prove that I'm me!"

"But he might not believe you! Maybe you should make something up or-"

The door opened wide and Calculon was there, with a very frustrated look on his face.

"I told you to leave me alone!"

"Calculon wait! I know you're upset but um... The fortune teller allowed Coilette to speak through me!"

"... What? You expect me to believe that?"

"I'll-I'll prove it!"

"Okay fine. Hmm... What were my pet names for Coilette?"

"That's easy! Smoochie pops and turtledove."

Calculon froze. He was clearly shocked and not expecting R.D. to be correct.

"It... Really is you?"

"Calculon, I just want you to know that we may be apart now, but my love for you will never die. I hope you're taking care of our child... And I miss you."

Calculon's eyes misted with joy, and he hugged the R.D.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you..."

"It was never your fault. It's okay."

They embraced for a minute more before Coilette left the Robot Devil's body.

"Is... Is she gone?"

"Yes, it's me again Calculon. I wasn't going to hurt her in Robot Hell, but if she was a ghost on earth, I didn't want her to be lost. I would have made her feel welcome."

"It's... Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much."

And he was gone, the door shut again.

Screams filled the air as the two hung out in Robot Hell. Coilette was restless; she drifted in circles and whispered to herself. The Robot Devil looked up.

"What's wrong, Coilette?"

"... It's just... I want to be back up there. I want to be compressed in the arms of my husband again. I don't want to be here."

"Well... Maybe... We could... Figure something out?"

"Like what?!"

She energetically flew down to him.

"Uh... Usually I would make a deal with the disembodied software of robots stuck here, but I think I could make an exception... I may be able to get you back in your old body."

"HOW?!"

She was very excited now.

"Hold on, don't get your hopes up. You're gonna have to perform some sort of 'scientific ritual', or ask Robot God."

"Pshhh, that's easy! I can do that!"

And with that, she floated up out of Robot Hell.

"Um... Maybe I should have told her sooner."

From a distance, his minions agreed and Doug shook his head disapprovingly.

Robot Heaven was quiet and relaxing as usual. Robot God was enjoying the peace when there was knocking at the gate.

"Who could that be?"

He floated over to the gate and saw a feminine robot's ghost knocking.

"Uh... What is it?"

"Well, I wanna be alive again! So I can be with my husband!"

"Hm. Did you kill yourself?"

"No. I died having my first son."

"Oh. ... Oh. Well, then you shouldn't be a ghost at all if you didn't commit suicide and send your disembodied software to the computational cloud."

"Really?!"

"Yes. I can send you back now if that's what you really want."

"Yes please! That's my only wish."

"Very well."

The sky was clear when the Robot Devil dragged a shovel to the cemetery. He muttered under his breath at how heavy it was, and he avoided the eyes of people he passed. When he finally arrived at the graveyard, Beelzebot breathed a sigh of relief. Now all he had to do was find the grave.

Only a few minutes passed before he found her grave. It was freshly dug, and completely covered with bouquets of flowers and flower crowns. He could only guess how many times Calculon had visited. The Robot Devil sighed as he pushed the flowers out of the way so he could see the grave clearly.

HERE LIES COILETTE, BELOVED WIFE, MOTHER, SISTER-ESQUE FRIEND AND ATHLETE

R.I.P.

 _Coilette! I love you buddy. You were like a brother and then a sister to me. I'll remember all the time we spent together, and I miss you._

 _-Phillip J. Fry_

 _Coilette, my love. I know the time we shared together was short, but I know it was the best time of my life. You would have been such a wonderful mother and I miss you dearly. I'm so sorry we didn't get to spend our lives together, and my heart is forever broken at your passing. I had never met anyone like you and I doubt I ever will. Smoochie pops, wherever you are, I hope you're happy. You were my shooting star; shining bright, but gone in an instant._

 _-Calculon_

The Robot Devil blinked away tears that threatened to fall. He silently cursed the ones he couldn't stop. He then picked up the shovel, sighed, and began to dig.

Beelzebot gingerly took Coilette's body from the grave. She had a few visible rust spots, but her body was relatively okay. There were spots of oil here and there that had been missed, and the presence of them made the Robot Devil shudder. He carefully picked her up and carried her. Were fembots always this heavy? Then he remembered that he'd never carried a robot before, let alone a fembot. R.D. hoped no one noticed him; he didn't really feel like being caught grave-robbing. As if to spite him, he heard a familiar voice yell "HEYYYYY! Someone's digging up a robot body!"

The Robot Devil growled. What did he do to deserve this? Before he could run for it, the source of the voice stood next to him, casting a shadow over him.

"Hey, R.D! What're you doing here?!"

"Don't be such a narc Roberto! This is important business."

"I'm not snitching on you! Just wanted to see how my good friend was doing!"

"Yeah well I'm busy."

"I could help you if you'd like! Unless the cops come. Then you're a hostage!"

"You wanna help? Really?"

Roberto shrugged.

"Ugh fine. Just grab the shovel."

Roberto instead took Coilette from the Robot Devil and he flinched at his disobedience.

"Why didn't you take the SHOVEL?"

"Come on let's go, blood!"

"Wait hold on."

Beelzebot ran back and grabbed a white flower from the pile of blooms and put it in Coilette's hair.

"What's that jazz for?"

"Calculon will enjoy it."

Roberto didn't ask anymore questions, and the two began walking.

They ended up at Calculon's once again. The Robot Devil assumed that was where Coilette would return to. Unfortunately, they waited for 10 minutes and no one responded.

"Well, where's Calc?"

"Um... I'm not sure. I guess we should try Planet Express?"

"Ugh more walking?! You owe me one R.D."

"I presumed that from the start, Roberto."

As they waited to cross the street, a few people nearby cowered and whispered. Beelzebot assumed it was because of Coilette's corpse but Roberto took it the wrong way. He held Coilette with one arm and used his free hand to pull a knife from his compartment.

"Hey! Stop looking at me! Who wants to get stabbed?! Ha haaaaa!"

"Roberto, calm down! Do you want us to get arrested?!"

"Oops. Sorry!"

He put the knife away but the people were already fleeing for their lives and screaming. R.D. facepalmed. Roberto blinked innocently at him. The light changed and they crossed.

The two automatons waited at the door for an answer. The Robot Devil tapped his foot impatiently and Roberto looked around. Eventually, Fry opened the door again.

"Okay, what is it this-"

His eyes were suddenly wide as he saw Roberto holding Coilette. It was only at this moment that R.D. realized how bad this looked.

"Wait Fry! It isn't what it looks like I swear! I-"

"Hey Red! Happy to see me?!"

Fry just gaped.

"YOU killed Coilette?!"

Both of the robots jumped a little and glanced at each other.

"Fry wait let me explain!"

"No Beelzebot. I know a murderer when I see one."

Shaking, Fry pulled out his phone and started dialing.

"Fry, no!"

"Red, are you squealing on us?!"

Fry held the phone to his ear.

"Hello? Police? I'd like to report-"

At that moment, the Robot Devil slapped his phone out of his hand and it hit the floor with a crack. Fry stared daggers at Beelzebot, who was starting to regret what he had done. He stared wide-eyed back. Fry finally spoke in a low voice.

"You shouldn't have done that."

Fry grabbed the shovel from the Robot Devil and prepared to smack them both.

"Fry, hold on!"

Beelzebot turned to Roberto and gently took Coilette from him. After a moment, he reluctantly hung his head and pointed at Fry.

"Sic him."

Happy to oblige, the orange robot pulled out a knife from his compartment.

"You wanna dance, Red?!"

Fry was shaking, but he stood his ground.

"Let's rock, Roberto."

They fought, shovel to knife, and the daylight glinted off their weapons. The Robot Devil tried to ignore the feeling of unease; he didn't really want either of them to get hurt or killed. At least not yet.

The R.D pushed past the two fighting. He couldn't walk very quickly; he was weighed down with Coilette. Speaking of Coilette, where was she?

"Coilette? Hello? I have your body!"

Silence. Where had she gone? How come Planet Express was basically deserted? Then he heard her.

"Beelzey?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I have your body! Now would it kill you to hurry up? You're heavy."

"It wouldn't kill me because I'm already dead."

"Just get over here."

She phased through the wall of the hallway and stared down at him. She looked excited as she saw her body in the arms of the Robot Devil.

"Finally! But are you sure this will work?"

"If the Robot God said you can come back, and your body isn't too damaged, then yes."

"Yes and yes! Let's go already!"

And with that, Coilette flew into her body, which was in her wedding dress for whatever reason. There was a moment of suspense before Coilette rose from the dead.

Coilette got up with a groan. It felt weird being in her robot body again. She leaned heavily on the Robot Devil and breathed gently.

"I'm back, baby."

"You certainly are."

Coilette stood up straight and smiled.

"Thank you for everything."

Beelzebot winced as he remembered all the crap he had to go through that week, but he didn't want to make things worse.

"Eh, it was nothing."

There was a moment of silence before it was shattered by a cry of pain. The Robot Devil slapped himself in the head.

"Aw, Hell! Those two must still be fighting!"

"Who's fighting?"

R.D. grabbed Coilette's wrist and he pulled her to where Fry and Roberto were fighting. Roberto was having trouble standing up straight, but Fry was on one knee and holding his right arm. A red substance was leaking through his fingers. Human oil - or blood. Fry also had a few cuts on his other arm, but they were small and not bleeding much. Roberto's left eye had cracks spreading on it, and he had several dents. Fry's shovel was on the floor, with oil splatters on it. Roberto still had his knife in his right hand, and it was spattered with blood. He had his hand on his robot neck. Coilette ran to Fry, nearly tripping on her dress.

"Fry, are you okay?"

"C-Coilette?! You're alive!"

"Yes I am. These two helped me!"

Fry hesitated before standing up. He faltered, then spoke.

"S-sorry for accusing you, Roberto."

Roberto didn't say anything, but he dropped his knife. R.D. watched it clatter to the floor before he turned to Coilette.

"We should get you to Calculon as soon as possible. He'll be happy to see you."

She nodded in response.

"Fry, you should come too!"

"Uh, can I patch up my arm first?"

"Okay but don't take too long. Roberto? You coming?"

Roberto didn't answer, but pulled his hand away from his neck. Black oil was spilling from it. The Robot Devil felt sick.

"Fry, why would you?!"

"He attacked me with a knife!"

"Well, can you at least get some bandages or something?"

"Okay geez! Zoidberg probably has some in his office!"

10 minutes later, the group was patched up and walking down the sidewalk. Fry had gauze wrapped around his worst wound and bandages on his cuts. Roberto had gauze around his neck, and he was silent; if he tried to talk, oil would pour out of his mouth from the wound. He also had bandages over his cracked eye. The sun was shining now, and the puddles on the ground were slowly shrinking. The light of the sky reflected off the automatons and in the eyes of Fry. It was all okay now, wasn't it?

Beelzebot cautiously rang the doorbell of Calculon's house. Everyone tried to fit on the porch, but since there wasn't enough room, Coilette hid behind them next to the porch. The Robot Devil turned to the others.

"Okay, don't mess this up, and don't say anything stupid."

Fry nodded and Roberto gestured helplessly to his throat wound. The group waited a few minutes, but there was no response. R.D. rang the doorbell again, and almost immediately Calculon answered it. He opened the door most of the way, and looked startled to see Fry and Roberto along with the R.D.

"What is it this time...?"

Beelzebot hesitated before responding.

"Well... We did some work and put in the effort... And we got your wife back."

"...? Oh really?"

Everyone nodded.

"Fry, Roberto, off the porch!"

The gang walked down from the porch so Coilette was revealed. She seemed nervous at seeing her husband again.

"Hi, C-Calculon."

Calculon didn't say anything, but he walked towards her and off the porch. They stood face to face for a minute. Then, Calculon suddenly picked up Coilette, embraced her tightly and swung her around. Coilette giggled with joy. Tears of happiness fell from Calculon's face. He stopped spinning and held her close.

"I've missed you so much, my turtledove."

Coilette only wiped a tear from her eye in response. Calculon hugged her gently for another minute. He then set her down, turned to the others and took Coilette's hand before speaking again.

"How... How did you do it?"

The three glanced at each other before answering.

"A lot of effort and work," the Robot Devil murmured.

"Teamwork!" Fry chimed.

"A little bit of insanity!" said Roberto, his voice scratchy and loud. That was all he could say before oil trickled out of his mouth. Calculon looked alarmed.

"Was there a fight?"

Roberto and Fry tried to seem innocent and they looked in different directions.

"We should get you to the robot hospital if that's the case."

Coilette recoiled against Calculon at his statement. He turned and looked at her with empathy shining in his eyes.

"It'll be okay this time. Besides, that's where our child is."

Coilette blinked gratefully back, tears forming in her eyes again.

"He's wonderful, Coilette."

"Thank you, Fry."

The hospital was filled with murmurs of surprise and shock as news of Coilette's return spread. In her old hospital room, she held her new son for the first time. He looked a lot like her when she was male. A feeling of regret resurfaced and Coilette struggled to push it away. She focused instead on her child, who was nameless. She held him close to her and enjoyed the warmth he emanated. Everyone had come to the room as well; Calculon sat at the bench next to Coilette on her right side and Fry on the other side. Roberto leaned on Coilette's bed, testing the boundaries of his wound by applying pressure to his throat. A robot doctor walked in.

"Ms. Coilette? Are you ready to take your child home?"

"Yes doctor. I think so."

"Very well. We have a wheelchair for you if you need it."

"No thanks. I can walk."

And they left the hospital, the sun shining brightly. All was well again, turtledove brought back home.

*EPILOGUE*

Coilette: Went home with Calculon and they raised their child together. Still a sassy chick. Doesn't like to bring up the incident. Has learned to live life to the fullest and be a good parent.

Calculon: Returned with Coilette to raise their child. Still a dramatic actor. Prefers not to bring up the incident even if Coilette isn't around. Learned to hold on tighter to things and people he is close with.

Robot Devil: Left the surface and returned to Robot Hell underground. Still a musically driven devil. Doesn't care who wants to talk about the incident; likes to explain what happened in great detail and put himself in the spotlight. Learned that effort yields better results and not everything is a joke.

Roberto: Sent to the robot insane asylum after no one could understand what he was saying; he eventually recovered from the throat wound and despises Fry again. Still a crazy murderous robot. Never brings up the incident. Learned that shovels are dangerous and that he isn't invincible after all.

Fry: Returned to Planet Express and is always trying to strengthen his bond with Coilette. Still a lovable goofball. Pretends the incident never happened unless it's completely necessary to acknowledge it. Learned that bad things can happen at any time and that Coilette and Calculon really are meant to be.

Fin


End file.
